Delayed Introductions

I realize now that I’ve gotten ahead of myself. I haven’t introduced myself (my name is Carolyn), or the way I will approach this blog. The following will be musings on the latter idea:

Why am I creating this blog? Am I more confident in my ideas and believe that I should spread them? Is it some sort of ego trip? Or a trick of youth… because this is the only forum that will receive my words? Am I trying to market my mind, as people market their social lives on Facebook? Am I trying to connect with others with similar ideas? It’s taken me a long time to enter the blogging world. I have eyed it from afar but hesitated to step onto the stage. What do I have to say to the world? What unique filter can I provide? What can I say that an adult will not know with 11 more layers… and then scoff at as the naivety and idealism of youth? No, I will not claim to be wise; but rather, curious, purposeful, and active. Here I will relay the ways I question, create, and exist in this world. Hopefully, my journey will generate dialogue or inspiration for others along the way.

How will this blog change me? I am an avid journaler, producing 145 typed, single-spaced pages in the past five months alone. Yet my writing has always been for me. Sometimes it is eloquent, and sometimes it is choppy. My voice is clear and indicative of my mood and the writing task at hand. How will this translate to a public space? How will I share myself between the journal and the blog? How much will my voice come through?

Interestingly enough, I’ve found my early forays into blogging to be analogous to the beginning of a relationship: full of giddiness, excitement, and some confusion. Whereas in a relationship, one learns (among other things) to balance emotional, physical, and intellectual interactions, I have engaged in blog balancing acts, as well. How much should I write? How light should I be? How much should I focus on thought versus action? How much should I focus on mine versus others’ ideas? I was somewhat of a bumbling idiot at the start… trying on different voices and tones… in a frenzy of several posts in one day. I was learning to find myself in this new writing relationship. And as in any relationship, if I am to gain anything from blogging, I hope that it will be honesty, growth, and new levels of fulfillment through time. I guess for now, I'll have to wait and see.